CARING ENOUGH TO GIVE AND RECEIVE CORRECTION

Whoever corrects a scoffer gets himself abuse, and he who reproves a wicked man incurs injury. Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you; reprove a wise man, and he will love you. Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.” Proverbs 9:7-9 ESV



A few weeks ago I wrote two blogs on the ministry of rebuke. The feedback that I have received has confirmed to me the need there is for the church to address this very important and necessary ministry both for the growth of the local church as well as the individual Christan. I feel this subject warrants a little more insight and discussion so I thought that I would focus on a beautiful example in the book of Acts.


In the book of Acts chapter 18 we read of a Jew named Apollos who was preaching in Ephesus. We read in verses 24-25 that, “He was an eloquent man, competent in the Scriptures. He had been instructed in the way of the Lord. And being fervent in spirit, he spoke and taught accurately the things concerning Jesus, though he knew only the baptism of John. He began to speak boldly in the synagogue.”

At first glance it seems as though this man really has it going on; he is eloquent, competent, and orthodox in his doctrine about Jesus. But then in verse 26 we read, “When Priscilla and Aquila heard him, they took him and explained to him the way of God more accurately”. There was apparently something wrong with the teaching of Apollos. We don’t know what exactly it was but Priscilla and Aquila deemed it important enough to need correction. So they took him aside privately and instructed him in his error. As a result, we read in verse 27-28 the outcome of their correction, “When he arrived, he greatly helped those who through grace had believed, for he powerfully refuted the Jews in public, showing by the Scriptures that the Christ was Jesus”.

What a great little story this about caring enough for someone to confront them as well as becoming a person who welcomes correction like Apollos. The fact is that like Apollos, all of us at one time or another need correction. As I have mentioned before, left to ourselves, our self perception is about as accurate as a carnival mirror. The only way to see yourself correctly is to be willing and able to allow others to hold the mirror of God’s word in front of you. Hebrews 3:12-13 exhorts us to, “Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called "today," that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.”

We cannot escape the fact that personal insight is the product of being in relationship with other Christians. We cannot achieve full insight into ourselves on our own since each one of us still have sin remaining in us and have pockets of spiritual blindness. The problem for us is that we can be spiritually blind and think that we can see quite well.

Being told you’re wrong or doing wrong is never fun. It is easy to get offended when people act as if they see us better than we see ourselves. Yet, without others helping me to see myself clearly, I will listen to my own arguments, believe my own lies, and buy into my own delusions. I will forget the Biblical warning that “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but the wise man listens to advice” (Proverbs 12:15).

How do you receive correction from others? There is a range of responses we can make when others correct us that can reveal much about our character. In Proverbs 9:7—9, we learn that the wise and the fool are measured, at least in part, by their response to correction and reproof.
There are at least four responses to Biblical correction that I would like you to think about:

1. The Response of the Wise Christian

The wise Christian loves correction and pursues correction. They desire to live right and in truth. Because they love God and desire to live to please Him, they welcome the lamp of others insight for their continual sanctifying growth even if it is not 100% accurate. There is a heightened response to oppose sin in the wise Christian.


2. The Response of the Growing Christian

The growing Christian appreciates correction or at other times can receive it, but then in his pride begrudgingly accept correction. The growing Christian will sometimes be open and sometimes get defensive. Sometimes self-deception will get in the way of their ability to receive your correction. Yet the Holy Spirit will eventually guide them into the truth. Other times they may even appear to not receive correction but after prayer and reflection will usually humble themselves and be glad that they were corrected. The growing Christian is progressing in their knowledge of their own sinfulness and awareness that the help of others is needed in their battle with sin.

3. The Response of the Foolish Christian

The foolish Christian is immature pride and annoyed by correction and critically judges those who correct. They will get angry with you, defensive, tell you that you have no right to judge them, say they are answerable only to God or the Holy Spirit; they can become bitter, resentful, a victim or martyr about their correction, and they might even go to another church if they don’t like the correction they received. The foolish Christian is immature in their understanding of sin and its gravity in their life. They think that they are right with God and are growing in their walk, but they are self-deceived. The foolish Christian will not grow or progress in their lives until they are willing to humble themselves before God and others to receive truth.

4. The Response of the Scoffer

Notice I did not even call the scoffer a Christian. That is because the Proverb writers generally associate the scoffer with the wicked. The scoffer hates correction. They simply keep a relational distance from others in order to safeguard that nobody knows them. Therefore, no one will ever be qualified, able, or permitted to speak into their life. In their pride and rebellion they are unwilling to submit themselves to God and would rather live self-deceptively in their sins. As Aldous Huxley said, “Man cannot take too much reality.”


The reality for all of us is that we need to live our lives centered on the cross. The reality of the cross brings us to the place where we are reproved for our sin most directly. Looking at the cross of Christ shows God’s displeasure and wrath against all sin, including the sins that we refuse to see and others we do see. The cross devastates all of my foolish pride, self deception, and lies. Correction from others is not devastating to those who have already been devastated by the cross.

On our own none of us will ever be competent to recognize our own sin; we will always need help. Never forget that others see what you do not. By God’s loving grace others can impart clarity to help protect you from the hardening effects of sin. They are a gift from God to you in your battle against sin and you will never grow out of this need.

Be wise, thoughtful, and prayerful when you receive correction from God through others. When you humble yourself God will supply the blessing He promises. "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you” (1 Peter 5:5-6).

Now, let us consider, Priscilla and Aquila and the manner in which they corrected Apollos. Priscilla and Aquila had "heard" Apollos as he "began to speak boldly in the synagogue". I'm certain they were impressed with the "eloquence" and charisma of this young man, how he shared Biblical truth in a "mighty" and compelling way. They saw his heart and discerned his potential for Jesus Christ and the furtherance of His Kingdom. Yet, they quickly realized that although Apollos spoke "accurately" in one sense, his understanding of Jesus was very limited. To not help him would invariably dishonor God by giving people an incomplete Gospel and one lacking understanding, as well as hurting Apollos’ effectiveness.

Observe how they instructed Apollos more fully in Christian truth. Notice the way Aquila and Priscilla were patient and perceptive. First, they "took him aside." The NIV translates, "they invited him to their home." They took him aside privately.

Here are some Biblical principles to apply. First, do not tell others about other people’s sins, flaws, or issues you have with them period! Secondly, do not tell others that you are going to confront someone. Thirdly, do not confront others through email, long rebukes on answer machines, Facebook, text messages, through a letter, or telling someone else and having them do it for you. It is unbiblical, ineffective, cowardly, unloving, unfair, and inappropriate; and more often than not hurts and confuses the recipient.

Jesus instructs us in the proper manner in which to confront someone: “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone” (Matthew 18:15). Notice our Lord’s clear instruction for correction. Jesus says “Go to the person”, “tell him his fault”, and “do it privately between you and him alone”. The key word to consider is the word “sins.” The word means missing the mark. The question is what mark Jesus is referring to. Is it God’s mark of righteousness or man’s mark of personal standards, personal affronts, or petty grievances? This qualifier alone would probably eliminate most of our confrontations. In the Old Testament, the word “sins” implied transgression or the breaking of the law. To break the law meant that a person was trespassing into areas that were unlawful and immoral. To break the law meant one was missing the mark of God’s holiness. In short, a clear violation of God’s word. In Apollo’s case, it must have been in his erroneous teaching. Romans 3:23 takes Christians one step beyond the law to tell them that when they sin, they invariably fall short of the glory of God. Since sin mars and distorts the reality of God; it means that all sin is about the diminishing and dishonoring of God and His glory. (Romans 8:29; 1 Corinthians 10:31; 2 Corinthians 3:17-18).

There are several other scriptural guidelines for confrontation: Galatians 6:1, “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently.” Hebrews 3:12-13, “See to it (We are responsible and accountable), brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage (Come alongside to help) one another daily, as long as it is called today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.”

Priscilla and Aquila were obedient to the scriptures in confronting Apollos and did it appropriately. Priscilla and Aquila teach us the importance of the why and how of Godly correction. They were concerned about the means as well as the end effect of what they were trying to do. They obviously were gentle and tactful. They practiced what R.C. Sproul calls “The Judgment of Charity”. It is the right evaluation of others tempered with love. It is simply a judgment of love that causes us to speak the truth in an attitude and spirit of love. “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:7). In their humility, they saw Apollos from a divine perspective, and they allowed this perspective to determine their attitude and approach towards him. They cared for Apollos and they loved God and His truth. What a beautiful balance. Paul calls it “Speaking the truth in love…” (Ephesians 4:15).

This is the key to effective confrontation. Some people focus upon speaking the truth and are harsh, critical, and ineffective in their confronting. Others focus so much on the loving part that they end up not confronting because they do not want to hurt or make the person feel bad. As a result, the person is never encouraged to face their sin and to be restored.

This Godly couple "explained to him the way of God more accurately." They "filled in the blanks" in his theology and experience. They were able to share with Apollos what he needed to know instead of confronting him harshly, they corrected him lovingly. Aquila and Priscilla had the essential ingredients for Biblical, Godly confrontation: tenderheartedness and tough mindedness. They were tender-hearted in their love and concern for their brother Apollos, and they were also tough minded in their love for God and truth.

As a result of their confrontation and correction, look at the outcome; it is a good one! Apollos became a great help to those who had believed, refuted the Jews in public, and proved the deity of Christ from the Scriptures. The on fire Apollos, got even more on fire! He proceeds to have a wider ministry. In 1 Corinthians 1-4 Paul will write appreciatively of Apollos ministry in Corinth and will speak of him as a fellow worker in God’s field. “I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow.”(1 Corinthians 3:6) The fruitfulness of this man’s life was the result of humble confrontation by Priscilla and Aquila, and by Apollos humble reception of their correction.

May the Lord Grace each one of us to humbly receive and give correction for the glory of God and the souls of others,
Pastor Bill