Monday, February 21, 2011

THE LOSS AND GAIN OF EXPECTATIONS

"My soul, wait silently for God alone,for my expectation is from Him." Psalm 62:5 NKJV

Ten months ago my life was a peaceful rhythm of confident expectations. I expected to grow old and have a happy life with my wife. I expected to pastor my church till I died.I expected my finances to remain stable and to live a comfortable life. I expected to have a great year after the year I had had before. Then suddenly my expectations were all shattered. I lost my marriage, I gave up my church, I lost my income, and ended up having the worst year of my life.

Shattered still to this day, I have wondered if I can expect the same expectations of the life I once had before and have now lost, considering the death of all the things that had made my life what it was. Now I find that I do not know what I can possibly expect out of life. It is hard to look forward to a life that seems like it will fall far short of what I planned, wanted,or expected. To think that life can still be good seems almost irreverent to me at times. I ask myself, how can my life be good without the people or the conditions that once promised to make it good? Frankly, having high expectations seems overconfident, foolish, and absurd to me at times.

But then, I ask myself, is that really true? Am I foolish or naive to think that my life can still be good? Can my expectations remain high? I think that they can remain as high as they were before all that I lost if I am willing to change my focus.

I cannot expect to grow old with my wife for that path is closed to me. I cannot expect to pastor my old church because that path is closed to me. I cannot expect the old life that I once lived. There are other expectations as well that if I hold onto them, I will or may be deeply disappointed.

But...perhaps, if God is God, I can expect something else that is equally good and new and fresh, only different. If I place my expectation in a loving, purposeful, merciful, God, my expectations can remain high if I am willing to adapt them to my new set of circumstances that He has allowed or placed me into.

This is not easy for me at all. Because of the loses that I have suffered I find it very difficult to keep my expectations high. I prefer the way my life once was even though now I look at it with new eyes and realize it was not a s good as I thought it was. Therefore, I have hesitated and struggled to believe my life can be good now. Here is what I have learned about my struggle with expectations:

Often times my sense of meaning to my life, my happiness, and inner tranquility are dependent upon circumstantial and environmental factors-good health, happy marriage, nice home, economic security, structured life, meaningful work, close friendships.


My losses have revealed to me the dominant role that these things have played into determining my own happiness. Loss has stripped me of everything I rely on for my well being. It has knocked me on my back. It has brought me to the end of myself.

But in coming to the end of myself, in my tears, loneliness, and brokenness,I am learning to go deeper in my relationship with God. I am learning to not expect nor put confidence in circumstances, environment, people, and my own expectations, but to do as David who said in Psalm 62

"Truly my soul silently waits for God;From Him comes my salvation.He only is my rock and my salvation;He is my defense; I shall not be greatly moved...My soul, wait silently for God alone,For my expectation is from Him.He only is my rock and my salvation;He is my defense; I shall not be moved.In God is my salvation and my glory;The rock of my strength, And my refuge, is in God.Trust in Him at all times, you people;Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us." (Psalm 62:1-2,5-8)

Oh how easy it is to take favorable circumstances for granted! My losses have brought out anger, ingratitude, depression and have exposed my weakness of soul that depends upon external factors for my well being.

I am now searching for a new life, one that depends less on circumstances and more on a depth of soul living on God and trusting in Him. He is one who says in Ephesians 4:32 that He is "able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us." With God reality may be much more than we ever thought it could be. he is one who loves us dearly and passionately and who says in Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." In coming to the end of myself, I am newly learning to hold onto in my expectations, one who is moving me and my life forward to wonderful and higher purposes in spite of what i see or feel or hope or dream.

So here I am learning simply to be whether we are divorced, ill, unemployed, widowed, abused, sick, or even dying. We can trust and expect in a God who loves us in our broken bodies and souls, our confusing thoughts, and our troubled emotions. We can trust that though life may not be what it once was, life can still be good and perhaps even better, just not the way it once was.

So, like Paul "the one thing I do, I forget what lies behind and press on to the high mark of my calling."
(Philippians 3:13)

Learning to expect only in Him,
Pastor Bill

Monday, February 14, 2011

YOU ARE GREATLY LOVED

What keeps us going when times are tough? When circumstances tell you that you are alone? Abandoned? Forsaken? Rejected? One way is to know that we are “greatly loved.”

Do you feel loved by God today? Some days I don't. Often times I measure His love for me by how well I perform and live the Christian life. Other times I measure it by whether or not I feel His love for me. this of course is conditioned by my emotional history, my circumstances, my mental and emotional health, and how I understand Him.

How do you know if God loves you? The place that I constantly must return to is His word. In the book of Daniel we read of the difficulties Daniel had faced and of the future difficulties that God told him he was going to face.

Three times an angel tells Daniel he is “greatly loved.”
"You are greatly loved.” (Daniel 9:23)
“O Daniel, man greatly loved.” (Daniel 10:11)
"O man greatly loved, fear not, peace be with you; be strong and of good courage.” (Daniel 10:19)

Do you hear this? Daniel is not just told by God that he is liked by God. Daniel is not told that he is loved by God. Rather, God wants to make sure Daniel knows and feels the magnitude of how God feels about him by saying: YOU ARE GREATLY LOVED!

The love of God is a great power in the midst of difficult times.

Everyone who believes in Christ is meant to experience the same love:
“But God...because of the great love with which he loved us...made us alive together with Christ.” (Ephesians 2:4-5)

Oh reader, you are loved with “great love”—divine love, omnipotent love, omniscient love, unstoppable love, eternal love.

May the Lord open your eyes to see this, hear this, and feel this precious truth.

May you “have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge…” (Ephesians 3:18-19).

The word of the Lord for you this day is:

"You (put your name here) are greatly loved."
“Oh, (put your name here), man or woman greatly loved.”
"O man or woman greatly loved, fear not, peace be with you; be strong and of good courage."


Let these words sink into your heart, mind, and soul. Let them wash your mind and emotions. Let them rise you above how people have and are treating you. Let them cast away the lies about how you feel that God feels about you. Let them make you out of reach of your enemies and circumstances. Let them be the power by which thrusts you into your work and your day and your trials and your ministry. Let it be the sword you weld against bad news and difficult times.

"He brought me to the banqueting house,and his banner over me was love." Song of Solomon 2:4

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised— who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written,"For your sake we are being killed all the day long;we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered."No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:28-39

Marveling that God loves me and me and strengthened in that reality,
Pastor Bill

Monday, February 7, 2011

GRACE:NEVER TO GOOD TO NEED IT NOR NEVER TOO BAD TO RECEIVE IT

"...so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast." Ephesians 2:7-8


Do you think you are above the need for grace because you are so good, so moral, so devout, so much better than most people? Or perhaps, do you feel that you are too bad to be able to receive grace in your life? I have discovered, both in my own life and in counseling others for 34 years, that left to ourselves, we think we are either too good to need grace or too bad to receive it.

This morning I read David Paulison on this matter and he has given me lots to think about in this pervasive battle. So this week I take some of what he has written and a few of my thoughts to help you to be amazed again by grace!

Are you too good to need a major redemption? Do you know someone or live with someone who is “above” needing Christ?

Do you work with someone who lives for himself or herself: who feels superiority to others, who is full of self-pity, who has greedy cravings for more and better stuff, who holds well-nursed grievances, who constantly is chasing pipe dreams of success and happiness?

Grace pesters, perturbs, points to, and pursues us—it is grace, after all, that makes me even aware that sin is my deepest problem. Grace reveals that without it I am in serious trouble before God.

Are you a person who has contempt for someone else?

A person who has written off someone as a hopeless case?

A parent who frets or seethes at your children?

A person whose life is stained by disgruntlement because you’ve been shafted by life?

Grace wakes you up to your need for grace. You were dead and dark (2:1-3; 5:8). God made you alive (2:4-10). Don’t go back into darkness (4:17-19). Walk in light (5:9-20).

Perhaps you have been sinned against terribly.

Perhaps your own selfishness and sense of entitlement make you magnify minor offenses into capital crimes.

Perhaps your own sins provoked others to retaliate sinfully, reaping what you sow.

In any case, the riches of mercy for you can make you merciful to others. The wealth of forgiveness can make you forgiving to others. The depth of God's love can make you a lover of others.

Grace turns you upside down: the self-righteous and destructive become the grateful and constructive. Grace turns bitter and resentful and merciless to become kind, forgiving, and forbearing.

Are you too bad to receive grace?

Grace woos and comforts us when we think we are too far gone to be rescued.

How could you be too bad to receive what is for the bad?

Perhaps you are tempted to despair about yourself.

Perhaps someone you know is tempted to give up: “God could not possibly love me or help me. My failures are too much, too often, too strong. My sins are incurable. My situation is hopeless. I’m stuck and will never change. God is as disgusted with me as I am disgusted with myself.”

Is there anyone whose badness exceeds the diagnosis God makes of each of us?

You were dead in your trespasses and sins, in which you formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience. Among them we too all formerly lived in the lusts of our flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, even as the rest. (Ephesians 2:1-3)

If the diagnostic shoe fits, wear it. But then look at the wonderful, specific cure!

Is there anyone whose badness is so bad that it exceeds the scope and power of the cure?

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved” (Ephesians 2:4f).

God lavishes grace on us in Christ.

Paul Tripp says,

Grace will make you finally acknowledge that you cannot earn God's favor, and it will once and for all remove your fear of not measuring up to his standards. Grace will humble you with the fact that you are much less than you thought you were, even as it assures you that you can be far more than you had ever imagined. You can be sure that grace will put you in your place without ever putting you down.

Grace will enable you to face shocking truths about yourself that you have hesitated to consider, while freeing you from being self-consciously introspective. Grace will confront you with profound weaknesses, and at the same time bless you with new-found strength. Grace will tell you again and again what you aren't, while welcoming you again and again to what you can now be. Grace will make you as uncomfortable as you have ever been, while offering you a more lasting comfort than you have never before known .

Grace will work to drive you to the end of yourself, while it invites you to fresh starts and new beginnings. Grace will dash your ill-founded hopes, but never walk away and leave you hopeless. Grace will decimate your little kingdom of one as it introduces you to a much, much better King. Grace will expose to you the extent of your blindness as it gives you eyes to see what you so desperately need to see. Grace will make you sadder than you have ever been, while it gives you greater cause for celebration than you have ever known.

Grace enters your life in a moment and will occupy you for eternity. You simply cannot live a productive life in this broken-down world unless you have a practical grasp of the grace you have been given.

Are you living out of this amazing grace? Does it shape the way you respond to your personal struggles, your relationships, and your work? Does your trust in this grace form how you live with your husband or wife? Does it propel the way you parent your children? Does it give you comfort when friends have disappointed you? Does it give you rest when life is unpredictable and hard? Does it make you bold and give you courage in places where you would have once been timid? Does it make the idols that tempt you less attractive and less powerful? Do you wake up and say, "I don't know what I will face today, but this I do know: I have been given amazing grace to face it right here, right now."

May God help you to understand and rest in the grace that you have been given!

You are never too good to not need grace and you are never too bad to receive grace!

Amazed again by grace,
Pastor Bill

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

WHEN LIFE MAKES NO SENSE AND SEEMS OUT OF CONTROL

"The LORD brings the counsel of the nations to nothing; he frustrates the plans of the peoples.The counsel of the LORD stands forever, the plans of his heart to all generations." Psalm 33:10-11 ESV

What do you do when your world falls apart? When you lose a spouse? A job? A child? A friend? A dream? Do you feel like your life is under the control of people's decisions over you? Circumstances? Chance? Fate? The government? The courts? Your boss? Do you fear that decisions that you have made have irrevocably affected your future? Do you find yourself in a sea of regret from your past or looking ahead to a scary, dark, and uncertain future? Do voices in your mind or do people tell you that it is all up to you and that depresses and frightens you? How do we make sense of all these things? Do you feel defeated and discouraged about your present and your future?

All of these things have at one time or the other played in my mind these past nine months of my life. I lost my marriage, my ministry, my income, my support system, and finally my health last year. There were many moments where I felt on the brink of despair with feelings that my life was completely out of control and a ruled by nothing but outside forces. Many times it felt as if God had utterly abandoned me and left me to myself and to the control of others. Looking within and looking all around I could see absolutely no light. My grief was so deep and my brokenness of such magnitude that I thought I could not go on another day. My future seemed hopeless and all the tools I used to rely on seemed pathetically useless. All my inner strength, my survivoal instincts, my tenacious personality,my focus, my self discipline, my ahtletic delayed gratification all failed me. There were moments when all I could see was through the lens of my circumstances and emotions and I felt lost, broken, fearful, abandoned, helpless, powerless, and alone to a bleak future.

But, I want to tell you a secret that has sustained me and kept me going no matter what I see or feel. I have anchored my life in the nature of God; the character of God as revealed to me in the scriptures. I have grounded my life in the truth of God no matter what I see, think, or feel and it has made all the difference for me.

These are the truths of God that I repeatedly go back to and preach to myself over and over again to keep people, circumstances, my emotions, and life from determining reality for me. Jesus said that "if you know the truth, the truth shall set you free." (John 8:32).

1. The truth is that God is in control of my life, of all circumstances, all people, and that nothing and no one can thwart His purposes or act outside of his purposes.
No matter what decisions people are making, no matter what trouble comes my way, no matter what pain I may feel I will cling to Him and trust in His love, His sovereignty, and His wisdom. He is the rock to which my suffering heart must cling.

The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.(Proverbs 16:9)
Many are the plans in the mind of a man,but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand. (Proverbs 19:21)
No wisdom, no understanding, no counsel can avail against the LORD. (Proverbs 21:30)
Who has spoken and it came to pass,unless the Lord has commanded it? (Lamentations 3:37)

2. Neither the willful, malicious decisions of other, the unintended mistakes of others, nor my own sinful decisions and failings can thwart God's purpose for me.No detail of my life is insignificant for your heavenly Father's attention. No circumstance is too big for Him to control it.

No wisdom, no understanding, no counsel can avail against the LORD.(Proverbs 21:30)
I will rejoice in doing them good, and I will plant them in this land in faithfulness, with all my heart and all my soul. (Jeremiah 32:41)

3. God is invisibly arranging circumstances and human actions to accomplish His purposes for you.

He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber.Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. (Psalm 121:3-4)

4. No plan of God for you can be thwarted. God does as He pleases and ONLY as He pleases. All of His plans are perfect in love and wisdom.

Our God is in the heavens; he does all that he pleases.(Psalm 115:3)
I know that you can do all things,and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted(Job 42:2)
For the LORD of hosts has purposed,and who will annul it? His hand is stretched out, and who will turn it back. (Isaiah 14:27)
Also henceforth I am he; there is none who can deliver from my hand;I work, and who can turn it back?" (Isaiah 43:13)
Declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done,
saying, 'My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose
(Isaiah 46:10)
All the inhabitants of the earth are accounted as nothing,and he does according to his will among the host of heaven and among the inhabitants of the earth; and none can stay his hand or say to him, "What have you done?" (Daniel 4:35)

5. God not only has a purpose and plan for you, He also has the power to carry out that plan.

For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.(Romans 8:29)
The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me(Psalm 138:8)
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope(Jeremiah 29:11)

6.God is never surprised, never caught off guard, never frustrated by unexpected developments. He is sovereign over both the good and bad in my life.

In the day of prosperity be joyful, and in the day of adversity consider: God has made the one as well as the other, so that man may not find out anything that will be after him(Ecclesiastes 7:14)
I form light and create darkness,I make well-being and create calamity,I am the LORD, who does all these things(Isaiah 45:7)

So dear reader, let these truths be the rock solid places to root your soul when the ground all around you is shaking. "When all around me gives sway, this is my hope and my stay." These are the ballast for your boat when the storms are raging. These are the weapons you can raise up against feelings, opinions, half truths, emotions, and lies about you, your life, your future, and God's unchanging love and unwavering purpose for you. These are what can empower you to glorify Him in all your life no matter what happens to you. These are the truths that you can fill your soul so that your circumstances, people, and your failings do not bring death to your soul and your hope; but instead letting God be God and letting His word transform you with life, faith, hope, courage, and joy as you look at Him, the loving, wise, sovereign one.

Look unto me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the earth: for I am God, and there is none else (Isaiah 45:22)

Anchoring myself in His love, wisdom, and absolute sovereignty,

Pastor Bill