WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE MINISTRY OF REBUKE? Part 1

Have you been rebuked by anyone lately? Have you rebuked anyone lately? What was the outcome? I have been the blessed recipient of some very truthful and loving rebukes over the past 15 months (To which I am exceedingly grateful) and I have also needed to give some rebukes as well. I have also noticed that in attending other churches and fellowships that the body of Christ is very weak in this area. In the body of Christ I have found to be two kinds of Christians: those who like to rebuke and do it often and those who are scared to rebuke and never do it. The irony is both kinds of Christians are prone to sin. Those who enjoy giving a good rebuke are usually the least qualified to give one, while those who would rather do almost anything else are often the very people who would serve the body best with their correction.

We live in a strange day. With email, blogs, texting, and social media, rebuking has never been easier. And yet in a culture of hurt feelings and thin skin, rebuking has never been more suspect. Often times in church life, we consider it intrusive to correct someone. Some of us think that it is not our place to judge. I call it "sloppy agape". Some of us value relationships over truth and maintaining peace at all costs. So we supposedly stand for love, but not for truth. I have been at meetings where young or immature believers spoke complete erroneous statements and the leader or mature believers just smiled approvingly and did not even attempt to gently correct. I have seen someone post something on FB that was in error theologically or mean spirited or wrong and proceed to see 25 people say how good that comment was without one word of correction. I have seen churches or groups where it is known about a behavior, attitude, or speech of someone that is sinful and everyone buries their head in sand and refuses to deal with it (That is, if they themselves even know that it it is sinful, wrong, or harmful to the person and the body of Christ.)

But I have also seen people who are truth oriented and not love and relationship oriented. They can be very invasive, intrusive, harsh, critical, hurtful, mean spirited, and ineffective when it comes to rebuking others. Some give rebukes where no rebuke is needed. Others like to tell people what to do or have some control or power over others. Some truly are judgmental and critical when it comes to relating to others.

So which is it? Should we rebuke or should we not rebuke? Do Christians rebuke too much or too little? Well, of course, that depends. Some Christians rebuke too much, while others rebuke to little. So let's look at the art of rebuking. I will break this down into four headings: Why we rebuke. When to rebuke. How to rebuke. How to receive rebuke. The first two, I will discuss this week, and we will conclude with the remaining two next week. I hope you will read both blogs because all four sections go together.

Why Should We Rebuke?

1. It is the biblical thing to do.

When Peter came to Antioch, Paul opposed him to his face because he stood condemned (Galatians 2:11). Bravo to Paul for dishing it out, and kudos to Peter for taking it to heart. “Strike a scoffer, and the simple will learn prudence, reprove a man of understanding, and he will gain knowledge” (Proverbs 19:25).

We are supposed to correct one another (see Matthew 18). It’s strange that we get correction in school, correction from parents, correction from employers. Yet in the rest of life, in the stuff that matters most, people will rarely dare to tell us hard things. Every bit of Scripture is useful for reproof (2 Timothy 3:16). If we only use the Bible to tell people things they want to hear we’re wielding a single edged sword.

There is a beautiful instance we find in Acts 18:25-28 where there was "...a Jew named Apollos, a native of Alexandria, came to Ephesus. He was an eloquent man, competent in the Scriptures. He had been instructed in the way of the Lord. And being fervent in spirit, he spoke and taught accurately the things concerning Jesus, though he knew only the baptism of John. He began to speak boldly in the synagogue, but when Priscilla and Aquila heard him, they took him and explained to him the way of God more accurately. And when he wished to cross to Achaia, the brothers encouraged him and wrote to the disciples to welcome him. When he arrived, he greatly helped those who through grace had believed, for he powerfully refuted the Jews in public, showing by the Scriptures that the Christ was Jesus."

Notice that Apollos was gifted but a novice in terms of doctrine. Priscilla and Aquilla heard him preach and took him aside privately to rebuke or correct him in the "way of God". What was the outcome? Apollos helped the believers, refuted the Jews, and showed in the scriptures that Jesus was the Christ. Now that is what I call a beautiful, successful, textbook rebuke.

2. It is a loving thing to do.

“Those whom I love,” Jesus said, “I reprove and discipline” (Revelation 3:19). He didn’t say, “I love you so much, but I still have to rebuke you.” He said, “Because I love you, I will rebuke you.” The reason we don’t rebuke more often is not because we are so full of love, it is because we do not truly love. We like people to think well of us. We like our relationships to be easy. As one writer said: “the opposite of love is not correction, but indifference.”

And yet, if you rebuke or discipline, people will say you are not loving. Just count on it. We live in an age that is emotionally fragile, easily hurt, and quickly offended. People don’t make arguments, they emote feelings. They don’t respond to logic, they claim that you use your logic in a mean way. So don’t be surprised when people equate rebuking with reviling. If you dare to correct a friend, he may think you hateful, judgmental, and meddlesome. But Jesus said, “those whom I love, I reprove.”

3. Rebuke protects you from hurting others and from hurting yourself.

It also protects the flock from false teachers and evil doers. One of the chief responsibilities of the elder or pastor is that he be able to rebuke (2 Timothy 4:2; Titus 1:9, 14; 2:15). A leader who never rebukes sin and never corrects false teaching is not protecting his flock. And he who refuses to protect refuses to love.

In Ezekiel 3:16-21, the leaders were likened to watchmen on the city walls. That’s what the elders are to be (Acts 20:26-31). If we see enemy doctrines or enemy sin in our midst, we must warn the city, lest we have blood on our hands. Correction is our calling.

4. Rebuking restores.

The goal of a rebuke, like any kind of discipline, is always restoration. It’s not punishment it is correction. A loving rebuke is not supposed to be like a gunshot, but like a flu shot. It may hurt, but the goal is to help you get healthy. “My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins” (James 5:19-20).

When Should We Rebuke Someone

1.We should rebuke someone the more hurtful the action or error.

If your friend keeps talking about Calvinism and Arminianism and thinks the last book of the Bible is Revelations, a corrective word at the right moment might be in order but a full-fledged rebuke is not. On the other hand, when someone’s sin is ruining a marriage, killing a church, grinding down your small group, or destroying their own soul, you had better get on the rebuking train. And fast. I have seen the results in my own life and ministry when I failed to deal with these matters. It never is pretty.

2. We should rebuke someone the more potential there is for the issue to escalate into a bigger problem.

For example, say you are over a friend’s house and you hear her snap rather inappropriately at her children. You could probably overlook the incident. But if your friend snapped at three other families’ children in the hallway at church, you better talk to her. There’s a real possibility this mole hill will becomes a mountain unless she does something to address her mistake.

3. You should rebuke a person the more the person is blind to it.

Christians who make mistakes and feel terrible about it don’t need a rebuke. They need the Savior. But it’s a different story when your brother or sister does not see the problem. Suppose you begin to notice that one of the couples in your small group never seems to get along. You sense coldness and hostility in their marriage. But they’ve been open with the group that they are seeing a biblical counselor for help. Probably no need to rebuke what they already see. But if they were blind to their problems, someone needs the courage to confront.

4. You should rebuke a person the more habitual the problem is.

An errant swear word is bad, but depending on the situation may not require your rebuke. But where there’s a habit of letting the filth fly, reproof is in order. When Christians fall into sin they need a hand up. When they fall into the same sin in the same place day after day, they need a kick in the pants first.

5. You should rebuke a person because if you don't, the more you will be held account for your silence.

We don’t all have to rebuke the President when we think he makes a mistake. We can in a free country, but unless we are his advisers, friends, or family it isn’t incumbent upon us to do so.

Likewise, we don’t have to rebuke every wayward Christian author, pastor, or church (that would be daunting). No one is responsible for speaking into everyone’s life on every issue (praise God for that). But for your children, your spouse, your close friends, your accountability partner, your flock, that church member who invited correction in his life–for these people our silence in the face of sin will not be golden.

6. You should rebuke a person the more the name of Christ is dishonored.

We must distinguish between honest struggles that are part of the normal upward trajectory of the Christian and flagrant sins that embarrass the cause of Christ. Yes, every sin dishonors Christ. But some are more egregious, more public, more high-handed. These are especially harmful to our Christian witness and deserve a sterner rebuke.

7. You should rebuke a person the more the gospel is threatened.

Young zealous Christians sometimes don’t get this one. Every theological error looks and smells exactly the same to them. But they are not all the same. Some matters are of first importance, which means others must be secondary.

To be continued...

Pastor Bill