"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, forbearing one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace" Ephesians 4:2-3
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you”Colossians 3:12-13
“Let your forbearing spirit be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand”. Philippians 4:5
One of Paul’s main concerns in Philippians is our witness. People around us should see the effect of our relationship with Jesus Christ, the way the Lord has impacted us and transformed our whole attitude to other people. What is the evidence that God has touched your life? Let your forbearing spirit be evident to all. Go out of your way to show others that you are gracious, forgiving, patient, not easily offended, that you’re quick to yield your rights and give preference to the other person. To whom? To all men, to all people. Everyone in your life should see this moderate, forbearing, gentle, great-hearted spirit. Everyone. Your wife, your husband, your kids, your boss and co-workers, fellow believers, your neighbors, your in-laws, all men.
HOW CAN WE PRACTICE FORBEARANCE TOWARDS OTHERS?
1. Instead of looking for something wrong in others, start looking for evidences of God’s grace working in others.
This means actively looking for ways that God is at work in the lives of others. 1 Corinthians 1:4-9, “I give thanks to my God always for you because of the grace of God that was given you in Christ Jesus, that in every way you were enriched in him in all speech and all knowledge-- even as the testimony about Christ was confirmed among you--so that you are not lacking in any spiritual gift, as you wait for the revealing of our Lord Jesus Christ, who will sustain you to the end, guiltless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.”
Paul recognized evidences of God’s grace working among the Corinthians who needed adjustment, and he therefore continually thanks God for them. Paul in his humility saw the Corinthians from a divine perspective, and he allowed this perspective to determine his attitude towards them.
First, Paul saw them as “called by God”. In using it, Paul is especially acknowledging and affirming God's sovereign grace and reminding us of His prior activity: We were acted upon by God before we ever responded to Him. We were called. God's prior activity has brought us to where we are today. The same is true of every believer we encounter. We must remind ourselves; this individual has been previously acted upon by God. He first loved us!
Second, God is presently at work in our brother. Paul says in Philippians 2:13 that God is actively working in us to both will and work for His good pleasure.
Third, Paul was confident for their future in the faithfulness of God’s future grace working in them: “Who will sustain you to the end, guiltless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is faithful”. Paul’s confidence for the weak, immature, failing Corinthians was anchored in the faithfulness of God. “I am sure that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion” (Philippians 1:6). Oh how we need to catch sight of the work of God who by His grace worked, is working, and will work in your brother’s life. The divine perspective makes possible the deepest affection for others, as well as effective service and ministry of extending God’s grace in your attitudes, words, and ministry activities to them.
I love the story of the great 18th century English pastor Charles Simeon. He had many trials in his life. The most fundamental trial that Simeon had –and that we all have – was himself. He had a somewhat harsh and self-assertive air about him. One day, early in Simeon's ministry, he was visiting Henry Venn, who was pastor 12 miles from Cambridge at Yelling. When he left to go home Venn's daughters complained to their father about his manner. Venn took the girls to the back yard and said, "Pick me one of those peaches." But it was early summer, and "the time of peaches was not yet." They asked why he would want the green, unripe fruit. Venn replied, "Well, my dears, it is green now, and we must wait; but a little more sun, and a few more showers, and the peach will be ripe and sweet. So it is with Mr. Simeon."
2. Practice the Judgment of Charity.
This is the evaluation of others tempered with love. It is simply a judgment of love. “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:7). It’s where in grace, mercy, and love we begin to make allowances for the weaknesses and ignorance of others and takes the kindest perspective towards them whenever possible because God is that way to you. The Christian loves to make allowances for the weaknesses of others, knowing how great need he stands in constantly having made allowance made for himself by both God and man.
Charles Simeon once said, “let us sit on the seat of love instead of judgment.” It is the golden rule with skin on it. The judgment of charity gives the benefit of doubt while fleeing the temptation toward heartless and cruel denunciation. I love the phrase "habitual tenderness" made by John Newton to describe the way a believer should live. In writing to a friend he describes the believer's life:
"He believes and feels his own weakness and unworthiness, and lives upon the grace and pardoning love of his Lord. This gives him a habitual tenderness and gentleness of spirit. The effect of this amazement is tenderness toward others…Humble under a sense of much forgiveness to himself; he finds it easy to forgive others."
Another time Newton wrote,
“Whoever has tasted of the love Christ, and has known, by his own experience, the need and the worth of redemption, is enabled, yes, he is constrained, to love his fellow creatures. He loves them at first sight.”
Oh Christian your relationships with others and your patience, faithfulness, obedience, and effectiveness is directly tied to the cross. We are saved by the grace of the cross of Christ, we live by the grace from the cross of Christ, and we therefore, must give to others the grace that comes from the cross of Christ. This means, God has forgiven me, so I can forgive others. God has been patient with me, so I can be patient with others. God’s grace is changing me, so I can trust that He will change others. God has been lovingly patient with me, so I can be more patient with my brothers and sister. We're all struggling with life's problems. And isn't that what we all want from others?
This is the rule our Lord Jesus gave us: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" (Matthew 7:12). I would take it even deeper in light of the cross: Do unto others as Christ has done to us! Every one of us needs and longs for the patience of others. Probably all of us should have a big sign hanging around our neck that reads, “Be patient with me; God’s not finished with me yet.” C.H. Spurgeon said, "If you are tempted to lose patience with your fellowmen, stop and think how patient God has been with you."
"Oh, that my tongue might so possess The accent of His tenderness That every word I breathe should bless For those who mourn, a word of cheer; A word of hope for those who fear; And love to all men, far and near. Oh, that is might be said of me, "Surely their speech betrayeth thee as friend of Christ of Galilee!" George Elliot
This is truly possible for every Christian to be forbearing and patient towards others. It has nothing to do with personality and temperament and everything to do with the grace of the triune Godhead working mightily in us. Colossians 1:11, “May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy.”
Forbearance is an evidence of an inner strength that is not supported by outward things like people or circumstances. Paul is praying for something that only God can give. Paul is praying for God to do something for us. Today you can be forbearing as a gift of grace from the blessed triune God: From God the Father, who is kind, merciful, gracious, and forbearing towards sinners like us. From Jesus Christ the Son, who came as our gentle and forbearing Savior, putting up with offenses on every side and enduring such a contradiction of sinners. From the Holy Spirit who brings us the fruit of the Spirit, and one of them is forbearance.
Jesus says in John 15:8. “By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit (forbearance) and so prove to be my disciples”. Oh how essential is the work of the Spirit in our lives for us to be seen as forbearing in our relationships! Luke 11:13, “If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!" May we join together and ask for a greater and fuller measure of the spirit’s work in our lives in making us a forbearing people.
Pastor Bill
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