Help For My Battle With Discouragement

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort. (2 Corinthians 1:3-7 ESV)

Yesterday I had one of those days that bring out the worst in me, my tendency towards discouragement. By the time I went to bed I was sooo deeply discouraged.I woke up in the middle of the night full of fear, anxiety, and worry about my life, my church, and these people.

One of the greatest battles that I have as a Christian is despondency. Sunday afternoons and Mondays can often times be dark days for me. There are moments when I will lose all hope, see nothing but darkness, isolate myself from others, and yearn for escape from my inner pain. At times like this I can barely pray or read my bible. There are times when I know it is tied directly to my unbelief, other times it comes out of fatigue and exhaustion, other times it seems like a direct spiritual attack, and other times it is inexplicable to me. Sometimes I feel such shame for my weaknesses in this area. Like Spurgeon, I feel that it is one of my worst sins.

I am thankful that some of my beloved brothers have written profoundly on this subject to help me battle my depression. Martin Lloyd Jones has written a book called Spiritual Depression, Its Causes and Its Cures based upon Psalm 42 that has given me allot of insight and comfort in regards to despair and depression. John Piper wrote a great chapter on depression in his book Future Grace called Faith and Future Grace vs. Despondency that is very helpful. He also has written a chapter in The Hidden Smile of God on the great hymn-writer William Cowper, who battled depression all of his life and finally succumbed to it by taking his life. These three books are great helps in the battle for those who like me suffer from bouts of depression.

There is a great article I read recently called Listening for the Sound of Reality that was written by Dr. Zack Eswine of Covenant Theological Seminary. (http://www.covenantseminary.edu/resource/Eswine_LincolnSpurgeonAndDepression.pdf). It is a very worthwhile and encouraging read. In the article, he contrasts two great men who battled depression: Abraham Lincoln and Charles Spurgeon. Listen to these two men speak on their depression:

Lincoln could say, “I am the most miserable man living.” Spurgeon could begin a sermon with the words: “My brethren, I am quite out of order for addressing you tonight. I feel extremely unwell, excessively heavy and exceedingly depressed.”

Did their depression rend them ineffective? Why not? Dr. Eswine writes:

"I believe it was because they embraced the miracle and listened for the credible sounds of its reality. In short, Abraham Lincoln and Charles Spurgeon did not give up on life."

The reason that they didn't give up to Eswine is because in spite of their despair, they never lost hope. "There is more to life than meets the eye. Therefore, to see the miracle in life we must admit that we do not know all ends. But we must also really believe that the present state of things will not necessarily have the last word. In short, to see the miracle in life is to possess hope...“Our perspective on what is happening is vital to our sense of hope...So much depression arises because of a loss of perspective.” Perspective involves both the sidewalk and the horizon. The sufferer of gloom must connect his or her daily melancholy to what William James called “the remoter schemes and hopes” of life. By "remoter schemes,” James referred to what we might call “the larger story” in which our current melancholy acts as one scene or chapter. What larger purpose or narrative does one look to in order to make sense of what presently assaults them?

I am so encouraged by this concept of the "larger story". When we begin to think in this kind of perspective, we are able to make more sense of our presence by seeing our moment of depression as a chapter in the story of God and His working in our lives. The sovereign governing and His providence means that ultimately He has the last word in this chapter and the story of our lives. Eswine says

Both Lincoln and Spurgeon connected their present circumstances to the larger story and hopes of God’s providence. The idea that God is at work in unknown ways amid the most difficult of circumstances, acted as a lighthouse from which they could both navigate the miracle of life in their rough waters. God’s activity formed the larger story of our current chapter. So, God—not our circumstances—would have the last word.

Why do we get depressed? What gives depression its power over us? Eswine's comments really have helped me to be able to better understand and know what to do when I get low.

But, when one treats life as less than a miracle, he “increases the proximity of despair. In other words, when there are no...“larger stories” ...Bodily pains, natural temperaments, tragic circumstances, spiritual activity; each of these requires a larger story which can handle what these experiences require of a person. Yet, many of our larger stories are themselves ruptured of meaning. We must therefore anchor our hope to something real. “Without realistic hope....all is lost. Realistic hope is “the door out of the blackness of depression and despair...We require a larger story that possesses an authentic capacity to handle the realities of our gloom."

Both Lincoln and Spurgeon used the Bible to gain perspective on the "larger story" and to handle it.

From those pages hope was made realistic because it was connected to ruptures of our local and larger stories...Both men saw the mystery of God as a means, not of escape, but of strength. In the context of God’s providence, they sought a realistic view of life. Perseverance, intentionality toward nature, the cultivation of humor and poetry, one day at a time, within the context of a community of care, made sense. The presence of hope fosters a capacity for taking another step and embracing another day.

I think of the poet George Herbert who wrote

"Away despair, my gracious Lord He doth hear; When wind and waves assault my keel, He doth preserve, He doth steer; even when my boat seems most to reel; storms are the triumph of His art; well may He close His eyes, but not His heart."

Having hope in my despair because God is the beginning, middle, and end of my story,
Pastor Bill