LEARNING TO JUDGE CHARITABLY

“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:7).

I have thought much about my life and the way that I have lived the past thirty eight years; especially in my relationships with others.. Recently I saw a few people who knew me and pretended that they did not recognize me. I have also many times felt the disapproval and rejection from certain people since my divorce. The rejection that I have felt has hurt me and caused me to ask hard questions of my self and the way that I have been towards others who I come in contact with. What is their experience of me? Do they feel loved by God by the way I treat them? Do they feel my disapproval and disdain? Is my general disposition towards others one of love, mercy, grace, and kindness? How do I evaluate others? Do I give others the benefit of the doubt when people speak ill of others to me? Do I think the best of others?

In 1 Corinthians 13, the famous love chapter of the bible, the apostle Paul gives a beautiful description of what a life looks like when God's love is operating within a soul in verses 4-7.

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

Oh how God desires His love to master us in order for His love to minister through us to others! One of the facets of love Paul speaks about has been called "the judgement of charity". Paul says,


"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (Verse 7)


The judgement of charity is the evaluation of others tempered with love. It is simply a judgment of love. It’s where in grace, mercy, and love we begin to make allowances for the weaknesses and ignorance of others and takes the kindest perspective towards them whenever possible because God is that way to you.


When God's love masters us, we love to make allowances for the weaknesses of others. Why? Because we know how often we stand having allowance made for ourselves by both God and man.


Jesus says:
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, `Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.” (Matthew 7:1-6)



As this passage teaches, when we evaluate and judge other people, our natural inclination is to ignore our own faults and to make critical judgments of others. Jesus is not forbidding critical thinking in the positive sense, which is evaluating others’ words and actions carefully so we can discriminate between truth and error, right and wrong (see Matthew 7:15-16).


What he is warning us about is our inclination to make critical judgments in the negative sense, which involves looking for others’ faults and, without valid and sufficient reason, forming unfavorable opinions of their qualities, words, actions, or motives. In simple terms, it means looking for the worst in others.


The New Testament portrays this pattern of making critical judgments.


When Jesus was doing miracles and healing the blind, the Pharisees stubbornly closed their eyes to the good he was doing and interpreted his actions in the worst possible way, saying that he was actually serving the devil. (Matthew 12:22-24)


In Acts 21:26-29, we see that Paul meticulously followed all of the Jewish customs as he prepared to come into the temple. Even so, the Jews assumed the worst, jumping to the conclusion that he had defiled the temple and should be stoned.


As 1 Corinthians 10-11 reveals, the Apostle Paul repeatedly was condemned falsely, not only by the Jews, but also by people from within the Christian community. Like many church leaders today, he learned the hard lesson that servants of the Lord are often misunderstood, criticized, and judged by the very people they are trying to serve.


But we don’t need to look back thousands of years to see people making critical judgments of others. Just think how easily we ourselves believe the worst about others’ motives or actions.



If someone delays answering a letter or fulfilling a commitment, we assume too easily that he is avoiding us or evading his responsibilities. Could it be that he’s been in the hospital recovering from a serious accident? Could he be overwhelmed by other responsibilities?



If someone at church seems unfriendly, we assume she is proud or aloof. Could it be that she feels awkward and unsure of herself, and is hoping someone will reach out to her?


If you hear a bad report about someone, you immediately believe what you have been told about the person. Is it possible the person that told you is a gossip, a slanderer, malicious, vengeful,or desiring to hurt the person's reputation?

The elders or pastor do not accept a proposal we make, we may conclude that they are narrow-minded and do not understand or appreciate our opinions or needs. Could it be that God is leading them to give priority to a different ministry?


If church members raise questions about policies or new programs, church leaders may conclude that the members are stubbornly unwilling to consider new ideas or stretch themselves to grow. They may even be labeled as rebellious troublemakers. Could it be that they have legitimate insights and concerns that deserve a careful hearing?


Charles Simeon once said, “let us sit on the seat of love instead of judgment.” Judging charitably is the golden rule with skin on it.


“So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them" (Matthew 7:12)


How do you want others to judge you? Do you want them to believe good about you instead of evil? To interpret your actions in the best possible way? To really try to understand your side of the story before drawing conclusions or talking to others about you? If so, Jesus commands that you do the same for others.


The judgment of charity gives the benefit of doubt while fleeing the temptation toward heartless and cruel denunciation. Making a charitable judgment means that out of love for God, you strive to believe the best about others until you have facts to prove otherwise. In other words, if you can reasonably interpret facts in two possible ways, God calls you to embrace the positive interpretation over the negative, or at least to postpone making any judgment at all until you can acquire conclusive facts.


I love the phrase "habitual tenderness" made by John Newton to describe the way a believer should live. In writing to a friend he describes the believer's life:"He believes and feels his own weakness and unworthiness, and lives upon the grace and pardoning love of his Lord. This gives him a habitual tenderness and gentleness of spirit. The effect of this amazement is tenderness toward others…Humble under a sense of much forgiveness to himself; he finds it easy to forgive others."


Another time Newton wrote,“Whoever has tasted of the love Christ, and has known, by his own experience, the need and the worth of redemption, is enabled, yes, he is constrained, to love his fellow creatures. He loves them at first sight.”


Believing the best about others is not simply a nice thing to do; it is not optional behavior. It is a way to imitate God and to show our that we have experienced His love, forgiveness, mercy, and grace in way he treats us. God knows everything and judges accurately. He has the final say in criticism (and in commendation). Yet he judges charitably, even mercifully, passing over and putting up with many wrongs. He is kind to ungrateful and evil people (Luke 6:35).


As we seek to make charitable judgments, we should become alert to three ways that we judge critically.


First, we think negatively of the qualities of others. When we develop a critical attitude toward others, we start a subtle but steady process of selective data gathering. We easily overlook or minimize others’ good qualities, while at the same time we search for and magnify any unfavorable qualities. As we find faults that reinforce opinions we have already formed, we seize them eagerly, saying to ourselves (and sometimes others), “See, I told you so!” One critical judgment looks for and feeds on another, and the person’s character is steadily diminished and ultimately destroyed in our minds.

The second way we judge others wrongly is to think the worst of their words and actions. We hear rumors of conversations or observe fragments of an opponent’s behavior. Instead of searching for a favorable interpretation of their actions, or giving them a chance to explain what happened (Prov. 18:13), we prefer to put the worst construction on what they have done. We overlook things that are in the person’s favor and focus on the things that seem to be against him. To top it off, we fill in the gaps with assumptions and finally judge the person to have done wrong.


The third and most insidious type of critical judgment is to assume the worst about others’ motives. Some people are habitually cynical (distrustful or suspicious of others’ nature or motives); others assume the worst only in certain people. In either case, the effect is the same: they are quick to attribute others’ actions to an unworthy motive, such as pride, greed, selfishness, control, rebellion, stubbornness, or favoritism.

When doing this, they think or say things like, “All he cares about is money.” "He is selfish." “She likes to go first so she can impress everyone.” “They are too proud to listen to advice.” “She is just too stubborn to admit she is wrong.” Although these appraisals may be true on some occasions, in many cases they will be false.


Oh Christian your relationships with others and your patience, faithfulness, obedience, and effectiveness is directly tied to the cross and the ongoing experience of His love being poured out on you (Romans 5:5; 2 Thessalonians 3:5). We are saved by the grace of the cross of Christ, we live by the grace from the cross of Christ, and we therefore, must give to others the grace that comes from the cross of Christ. This means, God has forgiven me, so I can forgive others. God has been patient with me, so I can be patient with others. God’s grace is changing me, so I can trust that He will change others. God has been lovingly patient with me, so I can be more patient with my brothers and sister.


We are all struggling with life's problems. And isn't love, mercy, patience, and grace that what we all want from others?


Again, this is the rule our Lord Jesus gave us: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" (Matthew 7:12). I would take it even deeper in light of the cross: Do unto others as Christ has done to us! Every one of us needs and longs for the patience of others. Probably all of us should have a big sign hanging around our neck that reads, “Be patient with me; God’s not finished with me yet.” C.H. Spurgeon said, "If you are tempted to lose patience with your fellowmen, stop and think how patient God has been with you."

"Oh, that my tongue might so possess The accent of His tenderness That every word I breathe should bless others. For those who mourn, a word of cheer; A word of hope for those who fear; And love to all men, far and near. Oh, that is might be said of me, "Surely their speech betrayeth thee as friend of Christ of Galilee!" George Elliot

A PRAYER:

Lord, help me to judge others as I want them to judge me: Charitably, not critically,Privately, not publicly,Gently, not harshly,In humility, not pride.Help me to believe the best about others,until facts prove otherwise— To assume nothing,to seek all sides of the story,And to judge no one until I’ve removed the log from my own eye.May I never bring only the Law,to find fault and condemn.Help me always to bring the Gospel,to give hope and deliverance, As you, my Judge and Friend,have so graciously done for me. In jesus most nerciful name. AMEN!


Pastor Bill