God has graced me with more years on this earth than several of my hero's: Jonathan Edwards, Charles Spurgeon, George Whitefield, David Brainard, Robert Murray Mc'Cheynne, Henry Martyn, Jim Elliot, and William Borden. All of these men left such incredible legacies and such fruit emerged from their shorter lived life than mine.
I realize that I am not these men and that God had a unique and special purpose and calling upon them all. But the ripple effect of their life stirs me today to look at my life and be resolved to not waste what is left of it.
I ask myself, what has my life meant? What will it mean? What will I do with what is left of my life? these scriptures ring in my ears:
Psalm 90:12, " So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom"
Psalm 57;2, "I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me"
Psalm 138:8, "The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me"
Philippians 1:6, "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ"
I look at my life and am amazed that God has been so merciful to me a broken, deeply flawed, eccentric, quirky, and sinful man like me all of these years working through all this to fulfill His plans and purposes for my soul and my life. I have been showered with love, grace, kindness, and mercy from God and others all of my life. I have been graced and privileged to serve the Lord as a pastor for 35 years. I have a church again and people who love and accept me. I have parents who love me, I have four wonderful children, 3 grandchildren, and had a wonderful wife who stayed with me for almost 36 years. I have found love again and am doing so very much better than I deserve.
My life is a testimony to the truth that "we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us." (2 Corinthians 4:7) and that "For this very purpose I have raised you up, that I might show my power in you, and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth" (Romans 9:17) and that "For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God" (1 Corinthians 2:26-29)
My favorite writer and pastor, John Piper, once wrote "God ordains that we gaze on His glory, dimly mirrored in the ministry of his flawed servants. He intends for us to consider their lives and peer through the imperfections of their faith and behold the beauty of their God."
I can testify this day like John Newton that “I am not what I ought to be – ah, how imperfect and deficient I am! I am not what I wish to be. I abhor the evil in me, and I would cleave to that which is good. I am not what I hope to be; soon, soon, I will put off with mortality both sin and imperfection; but though I am not what I ought to be, nor what I wish to be, nor what I hope to be, I can truly say I am not what I once was: a slave to sin and Satan. And so, therefore, I can heartily join with the Apostle Paul and say, ‘By the grace of God, I am what I am.’”
Therefore I am not discouraged by my weakness, sins, and flaws. I am not by my limitations and flaws. Instead this day of my birth, I , embrace the grace of God that triumphs over each and every flaw in my life. I see that God has, is, and will triumph over ever area of my flawed life. Why? Because I am convinced by my own experience thus far that "the faithfulness of God triumphs over the flaws of men!"
So what is my resolve and battle cry as I live the rest of my life?
"Therefore, having this ministry by the mercy of God, we do not lose heart" (2 Corinthians 4:1)
"For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised" (2 Corinthians 5:14-15)
"But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God" (Acts 20:24)
"it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. 21 For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain." (Philippians 1:20-21)
"Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. 13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus"" (Philippians 3:12-14)
" Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses" (1 Timothy 4;12)
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith"(Hebrews 12:1-2)
So today as I look ahead my longing is that on the day of my appointed death I will be able to say "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. "(2 Timothy 4:7-8) and to hear from my savior Jesus Christ, "Well done, my good and faithful servant"(Matthew 25:23).
I proclaim this day that: I WILL NOT WASTE MY LIFE!
"Only one life will soon be past, only what is done for Christ will last."
This day and all my remaining days I will live like Ruth whom as Boaz gazed upon he proclaimed "the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge!” (Ruth 2:12).
ON GOD'S KIND ARMS I FALL :)
Humbled and so exceedingly thankful this birthday,
Pastor Bill
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