AWAKENING MY AMNESIA WITH A STORY OF AMAZING GRACE

"And Samuel said to all Israel, "Behold, I have obeyed your voice in all that you have said to me and have made a king over you. 2And now, behold, the king walks before you, and I am old and gray; and behold, my sons are with you. I have walked before you from my youth until this day. 3Here I am; testify against me before the LORD and before his anointed. Whose ox have I taken? Or whose donkey have I taken? Or whom have I defrauded? Whom have I oppressed? Or from whose hand have I taken a bribe to blind my eyes with it? Testify against me and I will restore it to you." 4They said, "You have not defrauded us or oppressed us or taken anything from any man’s hand." 5And he said to them, "The LORD is witness against you, and his anointed is witness this day, that you have not found anything in my hand." And they said, "He is witness." 6And Samuel said to the people, "The LORD is witness, who appointed Moses and Aaron and brought your fathers up out of the land of Egypt. 7Now therefore stand still that I may plead with you before the LORD concerning all the righteous deeds of the LORD that he performed for you and for your fathers. 8 When Jacob went into Egypt, and the Egyptians oppressed them, then your fathers cried out to the LORD and the LORD sent Moses and Aaron, who brought your fathers out of Egypt and made them dwell in this place. 9But they forgot the LORD their God. And he sold them into the hand of Sisera, commander of the army of Hazor, and into the hand of the Philistines, and into the hand of the king of Moab. And they fought against them. 10 And they cried out to the LORD and said, 'We have sinned, because we have forsaken the LORD and have served the Baals and the Ashtaroth. But now deliver us out of the hand of our enemies, that we may serve you.' 11And the LORD sent Jerubbaal and Barak and Jephthah and Samuel and delivered you out of the hand of your enemies on every side, and you lived in safety. 12And when you saw that Nahash the king of the Ammonites came against you, you said to me, 'No, but a king shall reign over us,' when the LORD your God was your king. 13And now behold the king whom you have chosen, for whom you have asked; behold, the LORD has set a king over you. 14If you will fear the LORD and serve him and obey his voice and not rebel against the commandment of the LORD, and if both you and the king who reigns over you will follow the LORD your God, it will be well. 15But if you will not obey the voice of the LORD, but rebel against the commandment of the LORD, then the hand of the LORD will be against you and your king. 16Now therefore stand still and see this great thing that the LORD will do before your eyes. 17 Is it not wheat harvest today? I will call upon the LORD, that he may send thunder and rain. And you shall know and see that your wickedness is great, which you have done in the sight of the LORD, in asking for yourselves a king." 18So Samuel called upon the LORD, and the LORD sent thunder and rain that day, and all the people greatly feared the LORD and Samuel. 19And all the people said to Samuel, "Pray for your servants to the LORD your God, that we may not die, for we have added to all our sins this evil, to ask for ourselves a king." 20And Samuel said to the people, "Do not be afraid; you have done all this evil. Yet do not turn aside from following the LORD, but serve the LORD with all your heart. 21And do not turn aside after empty things that cannot profit or deliver, for they are empty. 22 For the LORD will not forsake his people, for his great name’s sake, because it has pleased the LORD to make you a people for himself. 23Moreover, as for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the LORD by ceasing to pray for you, and I will instruct you in the good and the right way. 24 Only fear the LORD and serve him faithfully with all your heart. For consider what great things he has done for you. 25But if you still do wickedly, you shall be swept away, both you and your king." 1 Samuel 12:1-25

One of the reasons that we fail to love God as we ought is because of spiritual amnesia. That is to say, we forget who God is and we forget who we are. God’s design in the Bible is that we come to know him and that we come to know ourselves. There are two revelations in Christianity: the revelation of God and the revelation of ourselves. We never really see ourselves until we see ourselves in the presence of God; and then we are appalled at the sight. In 1 Samuel 12, we see God revealing His greatness, and we learn about ourselves from the Jews in Samuel's time. And what we learn about ourselves are some of the subtle reasons why our understanding and love for God is so small. And the reason he exposes our sin in this way is to help us see our great need, and how He alone can meet it. Jesus says, "He who is forgiven little, loves little"(Luke 7:47)and "we love because He first loved us" (1 John 4:19).

It is always good to be freshly reminded of God and ourselves in order to kindle the flames of love in our soul. I was reading 1 Samuel 12 and became re-amazed by grace all over again.

God was the divine king of Israel but Israel began demanding for an earthly king instead of a divine king (1 Samuel 8). In chapter 12:8-11 we read that the Lord “brought your fathers out of Egypt and made them dwell in this place. But they forgot the LORD their God. And he sold them into the hand of Sisera, commander of the army of Hazor, and into the hand of the Philistines, and into the hand of the king of Moab. And they fought against them.And they [the people of Israel] cried out to the LORD and said, ‘We have sinned, because we have forsaken the LORD and have served the Baals and the Ashtaroth. But now deliver us out of the hand of our enemies, that we may serve you. And the LORD sent Jerubbaal and Barak and Jephthah and Samuel and delivered you out of the hand of your enemies on every side, and you lived in safety.”

The point of those verses is to show that God was faithful as their divine king. When they cried to Him, He saved them. He gave them safety. What was their response? Verse 12, “And when you saw that Nahash the king of the Ammonites came against you, you said to me [Samuel], ‘No, but a king shall reign over us,’ when the LORD your God was your king.”

Can you hear the disbelief in Samuel’s voice? You asked for a king, when God was your king! What should Samuel do? The Lord had already told him in 1 Samuel 8:7-9, “Obey the voice of the people in all that they say to you, for they have not rejected you, but they have rejected me from being king over them. . . . Now then, obey their voice; only you shall solemnly warn them and show them the ways of the king who shall reign over them.”

So Samuel says in 1 Samuel 12:13b, “Behold, the LORD has set a king over you.” Then he calls on the Lord to give them a sign in thunder and rain, and he describes their sin as a great wickedness. Verse 17, “Is it not wheat harvest today? I will call upon the LORD, that he may send thunder and rain. And you shall know and see that your wickedness is great, which you have done in the sight of the LORD, in asking for yourselves a king.”

Oh reader, can you see the light that God gives to awaken our spiritual amnesia? First, we learn from this how stiff-necked, rebellious, and unthankful we are. That’s why 1 Samuel 12 begins the way it does reminding the people how God saved them from Egypt, then gave them the promised land, and then rescued them from evil kings; and each time they forget God and go after other things. That is not just the story of Israel. It’s the story of humanity. It’s the story of my life and your life. How often, even as Christians, we are not consistent and steadfast in our affections for God. We have days we feel love and passion for Him and days that we don't. We have thankful days and unthankful days; and even our thankful days are not as thankful as they should be. Just think of how joyful and thankful you would be if your heart responded to God Himself and His ten million gifts with the admiration, appreciation, and gratitude that He is worthy of. So God in His kindness and love, awakens us by giving us pictures of ourselves in stories like this. He allows His people to drift into these kind of ungrateful and idolatrous seasons so that every mouth may be stopped and the whole world held accountable before God (Romans 3:19).

Second, we learn from this how amazingly grace for sinners like us flows from God’s supreme allegiance to His own name in the midst of sin. Look at the amazing illustration of this in verses 19-22. In verse 19, the people are terrified at the sin they have committed against God. They say, “Pray for your servants to the LORD your God, that we may not die, for we have added to all our sins this evil, to ask for ourselves a king.” The words that follow this are a picture of God's amazing grace to sinners. Samuel says to the people in verse 20, “Do not be afraid; you have done all this evil.”

Do you hear what is being said here? Please read this again! Stop right there and be amazed. Let the light of the holy Spirit illuminate the eyes of your heart and enlighten your mind to hear this astounding statement. “Do not be afraid; you have done all this evil.” Isn’t that a misprint? Shouldn’t it say, “Be afraid; you have done all this evil.” But it says, “Do not be afraid; you have done all this evil.” That is pure amazing, divine, undeserved, grace. God’s grace always treats us not the way we deserve: “Be afraid; you have done all this evil.” (Without grace that would be our deserved and our appropriate response.) But instead God speaks through the prophet a word that God treats us exceedingly, stunningly, stupendously better than we deserve: “Do not be afraid; you have done all this evil.”

How can this be? What is the basis of this grace? Not us! We have only done evil. We must never forget what sin is and how God sees it. What then? We’ve seen it already. Verse 22, "Don’t be afraid “for the LORD will not forsake his people, for his great name’s sake.” God’s allegiance to His own name is the foundation of his faithfulness to you. If God ever forsook his supreme allegiance to Himself, there would be no grace for us. If He based his kindness to us on our worth, there would be no kindness to us. We are stiff-necked, rebellious, and ungrateful. Free, unmerited, undeserved grace is our only hope to be otherwise; and the basis of that grace is not the worth of our name, but the infinite worth of God’s name. Recall 2 Timothy 2:13, “If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.” God means for us to learn from this sin that the grace of our salvation is ultimately based not on our value to Him, but His value to Himself.


Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and how inscrutable His ways!"For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been His counselor?" "Or who has given a gift to Him that He might be repaid?" For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be glory forever. Amen Romans 11:33-36

My amnesia has been awakened and I again am amazed by grace, in awe with admiration, and in love with such a mighty and merciful God,
Pastor Bill

LESSONS LEARNED FROM JOSEPH

"So it was not you who sent me here, but God. He has made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house and ruler over all the land of Egypt." Genesis 45:8

"As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today." Genesis 50:20

I have been going through the most difficult time of my Christian journey these past 17 months. I have been trying to let go of my past, come to grips with my present, and look ahead with hope to my future. There have been moments of great victory,joy,healing, and progress. Conversely, there have been moments of defeat, severe depression, despair,loneliness,and wondering how I would make another day. It has been very difficult for me to let go of my past and the life that I once had so that I could move ahead into my destiny. God has been so faithful and gracious to me during this strange time and is teaching me much. He has used the story of Joseph to bring me perspective, healing, faith, and the courage to leave my old life and move on into my future. These are four lessons I have learned from him that I am currently reflecting on.

I. JOSEPH HAD A DEEP SENSE OF HOW BIG GOD IS

As most of you readers know, Joseph lost his parents, sibling, culture, food, language, freedom, and hopes in one day! Then in Egypt, while serving as a slave in the home of Potiphar; he was falsely accused of rape and sent to prison for years. A door opened for his release while in in prison, but he was forgotten once again. He languished in prison for at least ten more years. Yet he remained faithful as a seeker and lover and servant of God. Then an amazing thing happened and Joseph was pulled out of the pit of prison and was made the second most powerful man in all of Egypt. He walked with the Lord till his dying day and became a blessing to his family, Egypt, and the world.

Over and over throughout his life, Joseph saw the large, loving hand of God working through all of his pain and difficulties. He frequently affirmed that "it was not you who sent me here, but God". In doing so he affirmed that God mysteriously leads us into his purposes through darkness, loss, pain, and obscurity. God is the Lord God Almighty who has your history and my history, your life and my life, in His grip. He works in ways that are often very hidden to us. Joseph understood that God is at work, in spite of, through, and against our efforts and the efforts of others, to fulfill his purposes. (Philippians 1:6; Psalm 57:2; Psalm 138:8)

God never loses any of our past for His future. Every mistake that we make, every sin that we do, every decision people make that affect us, every detour we take in this journey called life, is under the hand of God and taken by Him and is used for His future purposes and blessings.God has used all these things for His purposes. thus Joseph could declare to his brothers, "As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today." (Genesis 50:20;Romans 8:28)

I don't know why God allowed Joseph to go through such pain and loss. I don't know why God has allowed so much to happen in my life. So much remains a mystery. But in Genesis 37-50 and in my own life, I can see good things coming out of it. When we trace the hand and purposes of God, we can rest in His goodness and love.

II. JOSEPH WAS HONEST ABOUT HIS GRIEF AND LOSS

When he was reunited with his family, Joseph repeatedly wept.Genesis 45:2 relates the magnitude of his grief, "he wept aloud, so that the Egyptians heard it, and the household of Pharaoh heard it." I am thankful that God does not despise us in our tears of grief and loss. I have wept every day for seventeen months. I can't help it, I feel hurt, grief, and pain over my past. Joseph did not rationalize or minimize those painful years; but out of his honest grieving of the pain, he was able to forgive and bless the brothers who betrayed him. And bless he did, providing for them financially to the end of his days. Joseph was able to look realistically at his pain, loss, and grief yet beyond that he saw that "God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant on earth, and to keep alive for you many survivors." (Genesis 45:7)

III.JOSEPH ALLOWED GOD TO DIRECT HIS LIFE, NOT HIS FEELINGS, WOUNDS AND PAIN

Joseph had plenty of reason to have feelings and thoughts like "I have no reason to exist","my life is a waste", "Why go on", "I am useless and worthless", "I should never trust others", "I'm a loser", "I don't want to feel anymore, it is too painful", "I have no future". I confess that these are exactly the kind of thoughts and feelings that I have had these past seventeen months. They have all paralyzed me and caused me to view my life with little faith, optimism, and hope. Oh how easy is it for us to be directed in the present and have a view for our future by past events, experiences, or tragedies. Joseph was very aware of his past. But he did not allow the events, the thoughts, and the feelings from the past to control the present and determine the future. He opened the door to God's future by breaking free from the past and living in what God had for Him in the now.

IV. JOSEPH PARTNERED WITH GOD TO BE A BLESSING TO OTHERS

When he was confronted with the brothers, Joseph could have destroyed them with his anger. Instead he joined God to be a river of blessing to them. He simply did what had become a lifetime practice of turning all his loss, sins, wrongs done, pain into a launchpad to follow the Lord God and to receive from Him what life and others had taken away. God always gave Joseph grace and favor, even during the pain and loss. He lived on God, not his feelings, circumstances, past, or others. That freed to live as a servant inside or outside of prison and trials. When moments came for decisions, he was ready. At that moment he chose to follow God and to be a blessing to others whether in Potiphar's house, prison, the palace, or facing his family.

So, I write this believing in a God of great purposes. I believe that I have been placed me into my life with particular trials, in a particular place, in a particular time in history. I don't see what He sees, but I am asking Him to show me the revelation and purposes that He has for me in His decision. I do not want to miss, waste, or be ungrateful to what he has given me. I want to let go of the past and move on into the future with confident hope and great expectancy. I want to learn from my past, be freed from my past, and not to be crippled by it. I long to be a blessing to my earthly family, my spiritual family, and the world at large.
With God's help, I will!

Pastor Bill

The Most Important Reason I Do Not Want To Sin

"So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him..."For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised."
2 Corinthians 5:9,14-15 ESV

I have thought allot lately why I don't desire to sin. What is the most God-honoring reason not to sin? Is it fear of consequences? Is it fear of punishment? John Calvin says, "the truly pious mind restrains itself from sinning, not out of dread of punishment alone; but, because it-loves and reveres God as Father, it worships and adores him as Lord. Even if there were no hell, it would still shudder at offending him alone"

I am so very moved by this statement! Listen carefully again: "Even if there were no hell, it would still shudder at offending him alone." This thought compels me to ask: What accounts for my obedience to God? Why do I fear sinning? Is it merely because I know that discipline awaits me if I don't obey but rather persist in sin? Is there nothing in God besides his wrath that awakens me to holiness? Am I more concerned about negative consequences and bad feelings than pleasing Him? Am I motivated to seek righteousness for purely personal gain? Is self-interest at the core of my decision to heed his commands?

On one level there is nothing wrong with seeking to avoid judgment and the pains of hell. But should that by itself account for how we live? I think that the root of holiness is being in love with Jesus! Paul says in 2 Corinthians 5:14-15, "For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for
themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised."

For Paul the love of Christ evokes self-restraint and service and reverence and worship and adoration. Calvin asks, "Were there no hell, he says, should we still not find him worthy of our devotion?" Is there not something beyond the prospect of judgment alone that energizes our hearts to adore him and our wills to obey him and our affections to delight in? Yes, says Calvin! The truly pious soul "loves and reveres God as Father" and "worships and adores him as Lord" irrespective of all other factors." God's intrinsic and inherent beauty, his glory as Father, and his power as Lord ought to be sufficient to stir our hearts to love and admire and worship him as it did for Paul."

N.P. Williams said, "The ordinary man may feel ashamed of doing wrong: but the saint, endowed with a superior refinement of moral
sensibility, and keener powers of introspection, is ashamed of being the kind of man who is liable to do wrong" That is what happens when
we love God.

I think an excellent illustration of this is recorded in the autobiography of the great missionary to Vanuatu in the South Pacific, John Paton. He records of the day of his parting from his beloved father to go off on the mission field.

My dear father walked with me the first six miles of the way. His counsel and tears on that part ing journey are fresh in my heart as if it had been yesterday. Tears are on my cheeks as freely now as then. For the last half mile we walked in almost unbroken silence, my father, as was often his custom, carrying his hat in hand, his long, flowing yellow hair streaming down his shoulders. His lips kept moving in silent prayers for me, and his tears fell fast when our eyes met. We halted upon reaching the appointed parting place. He grasped my hand firmly for a minute in silence, and then solemnly and affectionately said, "God bless you, my son! Your father's God prosper you, and keep you from all evil. Unable to say more, his lips kept moving in si lent prayer. In tears we embraced, and parted. I ran off as fast as I could. When about to turn a corner in the road where he would lose sight of me, I looked back and saw him still standing with head uncovered where I had left him. Waving my hat goodbye, I was 'round the corner and out of sight in an instant.. But my heart was too full and sore to carry me farther, so I darted to the side of the road and wept for a time. Rising up cautiously, I climbed the dyke to see if he yet stood where I had left him. Just at that moment I caught a glimpse of him climbing the dyke and looking out for me! He did not see me, and after he had gazed eagerly in my direction for a while, he got down, turned his face toward home, and began to return. I watched through blinding tears till his form faded from my gaze.

Now listen to and feel the emotion of John Paton as he reflected on this precious and most moving moment. It graphically and poignantly illustrates what I am trying to say:

Hastening on my way, I vowed deeply and often to live and act so as never to grieve or dishonor such a father and mother as God had given me.

What a father John Paton had! The feelings Paton had for his father were a deep reflection of his fathers greatness as a father. I never had the privilege of having a loving father like this. But oh does this story evoke in me feelings and thoughts that I have a precious and most wonderful Father in heaven! Ought this response that Paton felt be not all the more to be true of our relationship with God? Is he not infinitely deserving of glory and praise and honor and obedience for who he is, in himself, even before we consider what he will do should we fail to respond as we ought? Do you "shudder at offending him"? Oh that we would vow deeply and often to live and act so as never to grieve or dishonor such a father like our Father in heaven! Oh, that we would see what a loving Father He is that His love would constrain us not to sin!

Seeking to bring God nothing but glory and to live a life pleasing to Him,
Pastor Bill