LESSONS ON RELATING TO FLAWED PEOPLE FROM A KIND MAN

Recently with the controversy surrounding Mark Driscoll, I thought about our attitudes towards others fault, shortcomings, and sins. My mind was full of how merciless, judgmental, harsh, mean spirited I and some of my fellow Christians can be at times towards others.

Sometimes God uses biographies to awaken me and call me to a higher way of being and living. One of my favorite Christians is the great 18th century English pastor John Newton. He once said, "All I know is that I am a great sinner and Jesus is a great savior". Do you believe that? What does belief in my utter depravity and corruption and God's sovereign grace and mercy purchased by the blood of Jesus have upon my life and how I live? What affect does believing that I am a great sinner and Jesus is a great savior mean to have upon the way I relate to others?

Oh let us learn from John Newton! Born in 1725 and died in 1807, he is best know as the hymn writer of the great hymn Amazing Grace. He pastored two churches; Olney, for 16 years, and London, for 27 years. He was a contemporary and friend of John Wesley, George Whitefield, William Wilberforce, Henry Martyn, and Charles Simeon in the 18th century.

In my opinion he was one of the greatest pastors in the history of the church. I can honestly say, next to Jesus and Paul, he is the man I most desire to be like. The reason that I feel this is because of what John Piper calls his habitual tenderness of spirit. In scripture we are told to "not be sluggish, but imitators of those who through faith and endurance inherit the promises" ( Hebrews 6:12). "Remember your leaders, those who spoke the word of God to you; consider the outcome of their life and imitate their faith" (Hebrews 13:7). John Newton was a leader exceedingly worthy for us to study and to imitate. He was a was a man who truly testified to the mercy of God towards him. He was throughout his life a man truly amazed by grace.

At the end of his life his last will and testament reads: I commit my soul to my gracious God and Savior, who mercifully spared and preserved me, when I was an apostate, a blasphemer, and an infidel, and delivered me from the state of misery on the coast of Africa into which my obstinate wickedness had plunged me; and who has been pleased to admit me (though most unworthy) to preach his glorious gospel. " Have you, like Newton, gotten over the sheer wonder of Jesus Christ's amazing triumphant grace? Newton reminds us that a believer who has been shown such grace and mercy should be characterized by a life of habitual tenderness. In writing to a friend he describes the believer's life: "He believes and feels his own weakness and unworthiness, and lives upon the grace and pardoning love of his Lord. This gives him a habitual tenderness and gentleness of spirit. "

Sometimes in my own life and in other Christians I have been appalled at the lack of tenderness and grace extended towards others. Oh how easily we forget don't we? I call it spiritual amnesia! One of the reasons that we fail to love God and others as we ought is because of spiritual amnesia. That is to say, we forget who God is and we forget who we are. The effect of knowing God's love and grace should be lavish love, generous kindness, and unlimited mercy towards others. Newton says, "Humble under a sense of much forgiveness to himself; he finds it easy to forgive others." Do you?

Another time Newton wrote, “Whoever has tasted of the love Christ, and has known, by his own experience, the need and the worth of redemption, is enabled, yes, he is constrained, to love his fellow creatures. He loves them at first sight.” He puts it in a picture: "A company of travelers fall into a pit: one of them gets a passenger to draw him out. Now he should not be angry with the rest for falling in; nor because they are not yet out, as he is. He did not pull himself out: instead, therefore, of reproaching them, he should show them pity. . . . A man, truly illuminated, will no more despise others, then Bartimeus, after his own eyes were opened, would take a stick, and beat every blind man he met."

The default response of those who have been shown God's inimitable grace is to love and be merciful to all people. When Newton speaks to unbelievers he speaks like this: A well-wisher to your soul assures you, that whether you know these things or not, they are important realities. . . . Oh hear the warning voice! Flee from the wrath to come. Pray thee that the eyes of your mind may be opened, then you will see your danger, and gladly follow the shining light of the Word. "

Newton had a firm grip on doctrine but he also knew how important it was to live and feel and speak what he knew and believed. What we believe can be discredited by failing to live and speak in the spirit of what we believe. Therefore, he says, "The Scripture, which . . . teaches us what we are to say, is equally explicit as to the temper and Spirit in which we are to speak. Though I had knowledge of all mysteries, and the tongue of an angel to declare them, I could hope for little acceptance or usefulness, unless I was to speak 'in love."

John Newton had drunk deeply from the fountain of grace, the cross of Jesus Christ. Have you? He was filled with joy and overflowing for those who weren't. His own self description of how he lived is days says: "Two heaps of happiness and misery; now if I can take the smallest bit from one heap and add to the other, I carry a point. If, as I go home, a child has dropped a halfpenny, and if, by giving it another, I can wipe away its tears, I feel that I have done something. I should be glad to do greater things, but I will not neglect this" The cross of Jesus is the source of all love, mercy, and tenderness of spirit towards others. We all need to live our lives in very close proximity to the shadow of the blessed cross. For when we live beneath its shadow gratitude, amazement, and humility will be pervasive in our souls.

Listen to the amazement that Newton felt at the age of seventy-two: "such a wretch should not only be spared and pardoned, but reserved to the honor of preaching thy Gospel, which he had blasphemed and renounced . . . this is wonderful indeed! The more thou hast exalted me, the more I ought to abase myself."

He wrote his own epitaph:

JOHN NEWTON, Clerk, Once an Infidel and Libertine,  A Servant of Slaves in Africa, was, by the rich mercy of our Lord and Savior JESUS CHRIST, Preserved, restored, pardoned, and appointed to preach the Faith He had long labored to destroy, Near 16 years at Olney in Bucks; and [28] years in this church.

Glad-hearted, grateful lowliness and brokenness as a saved "wretch" was probably the most prominent root of Newton's habitual tenderness with people. The hymn we know as Amazing Grace was written to accompany a New Year's sermon based on 1 Chronicles 17:16, "Then King David went in and sat before the Lord, and said, Who am I, O Lord God, and what is my house, that thou hast brought me thus far?"

"Amazing grace! How sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me, I once was lost, but now am found, Was blind but now I see." May amazement and habitual tenderness of spirit characterize your life as you see and savor the restoration and pardon that was blood bought and freely given to you by the undeserved grace of our great Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. May we be able to say like Newton

"I am not what I ought to be — ah, how imperfect and deficient! I am not what I wish to be — I abhor what is evil, and I would cleave to what is good! I am not what I hope to be — soon, soon shall I put off mortality, and with mortality all sin and imperfection. Yet, though I am not what I ought to be, nor what I wish to be, nor what I hope to be, I can truly say, I am not what I once was; a slave to sin and Satan; and I can heartily join with the apostle, and acknowledge, "By the grace of God I am what I am."

Awakened to love and mercy,
Pastor Bill

TWENTY THINGS I'D DO DIFFERENTLY IF I WAS STILL A PASTOR

Recently a read a blog post titled "10 Things I’d Do Differently if I Weren’t a Pastor Today"'written by Ron Edmondson. It inspired me to write this post today from an opposite perspective, as a former pastor now sitting in the pew..

I was privileged to be an assistant pastor for 11 years and a senior pastor for 26 years, planting two churches. So, I have spent most of my adult life in the pastoral ministry. I have been out of the pastoral ministry for the past year and a half working in a gym and as a security guard with a BA and Masters degree. It has been a strange, humbling, eye opening, and at times very sad and discouraging experience for me. I miss the pastoral and congregational life immensely. 

One thing my experience has done for me, especially since currently I am not involved in pastoral ministry, is to help me realize how much I didn’t understand about life for the average church attender who are is involved in pastoral ministry. I also have come to terms with the many mistakes I have made in those 36 years.

So, if I were ever on the other side again — and I was back “in the pulpit" — I’d change a few things about myself.

Here are 20 things I’d do differently if I were a pastor today:

1. I would remember that shepherding over precious people is a great honor and privilege, never to be taken for granted. It can easily be taken away as it was given. I would hold what I do very loosely and with reverence before God.

2. I would thank the Lord every day for the kindness of God allowing a sinner like me to lead people who are often more godly, loving, and God centered than I am.

3. I would let the congregation regularly know how grateful I am to be a pastor and their pastor. 

4. I would always let the congregation know that I love and appreciate them.  If I did not feel love for them I would ask the Lord to forgive me and restore that love so that could earnestly lead them.

5. I would let the leadership always know their value, worth, and my appreciation for them privately and publicly, especially all who volunteer their time. 

6. I would realize how hard people work, how busy they are, how tired they can be, and how many responsibilities and obligations that they have outside of the church that weigh upon them. This would give me great grace, mercy, and compassion in my expectations of them. Not everyone who misses a Sunday are carnal, backslidden, or uncommitted. Maybe they are just tired! 

7. I would never try to keep people busy but instead would teach them how to slow down, be quiet, enjoy nature, silence, and simplicity. 

8. I would not have revved up, loud, noisy, busy, distracting, and entertaining services but would long to create a centered, quiet, welcoming environment to meet, hear, and experience God in all His glory, power, and presence. 

9.  I would be just glad anyone shows up to hear someone like me preach and have a grateful heart rather than rising and falling emotionaly on attendance and giving.

10. I would never use the pulpit to take out my anger, frustrations, disappointments, or unfulfilled expectations on the church. I would never use the pulpit to elevate or exalt myself. I would never use the pulpit to manipulate, coerce, or fulfill my own personal agendas. The pulpit is meant to exalt Jesus Christ and His purposes, greatness, beauty, and glory. It's not about me!

11.  I would preach shorter sermons no longer than 40 minutes. I would strive for less verbiage, personal anecdotes, illustrations, and stay God and word centered. Too many pastors do not evaluate their speaking and what they afflict upon the congregations with their verbosity. Most pastors are not Piper, Spurgeon, or Whitefield and cannot get away with wordy, longwinded  sermons. People get tired and have only so long of attention spans.  I would get to the point. I would avoid long drawn out introductions before I even get to the text. I would be sensitive to my audience and their attention spans. I would remind myself that people need the Word and not my opinions. I would actually observe my hearers and find out if I'm reaching them or boring them and putting them to sleep.

12. I would truly remember that my marriage and family come first, live in that reality, and create impenetrable boundaries that communicate that to others. I would take two days off a week like everyone else and devote more time to the things that matter.

13. I would let my wife and kids know by my actions that they are more important to me than the ministry and church.

14.  I would spend more time with the Lord. Not just morning devotions hurriedly done because so much study, counseling, administrative, and sermon prep needs to be done. It only  benefits everyone around me. I would think about the person I bring to the table and I am blessing or afflicting others with. I would be more contemplative, quiet, and prayerful about my life and strive to bring peace and calm and quietness in the presence of others. This means I would practice the presence of God and people by listening more and speaking less. 

15. I would pray more with others, especially leadership and spend less time just praying alone. 

16. I would honestly, openly, and really make myself, my marriage, my ministry, my conduct, and my life accountable to others. I would not isolate myself and think I only need to be accountable to God. I would find godly men to counsel me, confess my sins and struggles to,  to speak over me and into my life, and be willing to listen and submit to their correction and wisdom. I would not isolate myself from others. 

17.I would take the time to have real friends both inside my local church and outside. Many times I have seen the closeness between people and their spending time together and realize how much precious time I missed investing in long term friendships because of my pastoral drive and ambition. I am a lonely man.

18. I would prepare my  people to face suffering, loss, disappointment, discouragement,tribulation, grief, and death. I would want to help them tether their lives in the love and absolute sovereignty and purposes of God so that they endure to the end.

19. I would repeatedly emphasize and demonstrate the love, kindness, forgiveness, mercy and grace of God in my teaching, words, relationships, and actions. 

20.  I would not waste my time, my life, my family, my church, my relationships, and ministry ever again! 

AMEN